1. |
Intro
01:04
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I’m a rocker turned to rapper from Hamilton City
Witty and pretty much at the top of this industry
Thought it required talent to record an album
Then I discovered rap did nobody tell them
That this JBs above all the others,
Better than Beiber and the Jonas Brothers
I get no applause, free entry at the door
making beats when I'm board 24/7s my studio,
record in my bedroom yo
One day I’ll be famous like Bambino
and even though I don’t even like to hip hop
I still drop a better beat rep a fresher scene
than crap rap and bad rock
Scribe and Opshop
Stale pop and shithop
Get stuck in your head like lamb chops
You best believe MC JB
Won’t just interrupt your programme
I’ll shatter your TV
So listen to my album, call your friends and tell them
I'm the cure to modern music
But I won’t be held responsible for the side effects
And don’t forget
To like my Facebook page and drop me a comment
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2. |
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I’m a skeleton in Hamilton,
Light up the night like a jack-o-lantern
Me and my zombies craving lollies,
Walking corpses, bleeding bodies
Feed us promptly and it won’t end badly
Never get between a trick or treater and their candy!
Yeah my candy you know I never brought it
Just extort it then I snort it.
I'm your nightmare before Christmas
I swear you won’t miss this
Fill up the bag
With all the lollies and the biscuits
Do not persist with your passive resistance
Signs on your house won’t stop our insistence
If you refuse to cater well come back later,
Tear up yo lawn leave, your house toilet papered
I’m the king of this caper take candy from strangers
But for one night of the year you’ll be the one in danger
All hallows eve yo better believe
The dead will rise with a need to feast
Not on human flesh but delicious sweets
Bow down mortal cause its trick or treat.
October 31st Halloween is the word
Don’t make the mistake of trick or treating on my turf
This club R.I.P yea you know me
All the witches and trolls are out to get me
On this day of festivity I will prolifically
Be taking candy from every middle class family
You’d have to be mad to be daring to challenge me
Devil’s night is my confectionary fantasy
When I come around knocking on yo front door
Standing on your porch waiting to score
You better give me just what I need
Or I'll spit in yo face cause its trick or treat.
On a sugar high as I’m banging these rocks
M&Ms and Jaffas really hit the spot.
Eating a Moro in my tree house of sorrow
It’s past my bed time and I’ve got school tomorrow.
Don’t need a sack cause I’ve got my cauldron,
All the more room for the candy I’m storing.
The Halloween master yea I’m a spell caster
Check out my wand yo, yea its gangsta
This raps like a zombie it’ll eat yo brain
Steal my sweets and I’ll be bringing the pain
If ya want my treats yo threads best be scary
You won't be getting any dressed like a fairy
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3. |
Life Of A Farmer
02:51
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Rolling in my tractor on the farm
Listen to the sounds down at the barn
Home grown all the way
Caus I'm smoking my hay
Chill'n to the beats of the farm yard rave
Pimping all the chicks
And I've got my clients paying
Making all the cash
From the eggs them chickens laying
Other farmers are so deranged
Keeping their poultry inside a cage
But I care about my girls
So my cribs free range
It's the way that I flow
Just way I was raised
I'm that kinda guy
In my swan dry
Fo shizzle to my nizzle
Cause I'm living the life
Living the life of a farmer
Living the life that I wanna
Living the life of a farmer
Living the life that I wanna
I'm pedalling all the shit
Down at the farmers market
Selling fruit and veges
For another dirty dollar
Watching out for coppers
When I'm selling on the corner
Cause I'm going down town
If my milk is sour (my milk is fresh)
Listen to this yo now my brutha
People rap about tits
Well I rap about udders
This is the word
Yo haven't you heard
If you flock with me
Then you flock with the herd
If you steal my crops yo
You can rely
You'll find yourself in a tractor drive by
Dog show some respect
I've got affiliations
Like Anchor, Meadow Fresh and Kiwi Bacon.
Living the life of a farmer
Living the life that I wanna
Living the life of a farmer
Living the life that I wanna
Come check
The rims on my horses
Ain't no other ride as dope in the orchard.
My farms OG
And GE free
Have you ever met a farmer as gangsta as me?
Can you dig my flow
All the places I go
All the seeds that I sew
Cause I've got my hoes
And my rakes
And my spades
And gum boots
And my plaid
If there's weeds in my field
They're gonna get sprayed
I was only 12 when I earn't my patch
Was a patch of pumpkins out the back
Don't you know I'm a agriculturist?
You should know you don't flock with this
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4. |
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5. |
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Used to be batman now I’m bustn raps man
Yeah me and Robin on the streets of Gotham
Deliver defeat by the beats that we're dropping
This shit’s for real my bat mobile
Check out the rims on these gangsta gold wheels
Once I fought crime now I’m just busting rhymes
The baddest MC to come from DC
Marvel in my greatness I’ll batarang the haters
I am vengeance
I am the night
I am BATMAN
Used to be the Joker now I work at Mc Donald’s
Flippin your burgers for less than 2 dollars
Used to do drive bys now I work at the drive through
I won’t blow you up ill just spit in your food
The clown prince of crime I just think back and cry
Scrubbing your toilets and making your fries
Why serious? Life is a joke, the joker is nothing now here is your coke
When I used this voice I got a sore throat
Now my only bat signal is my middle finger and
Now I’m retired, Alfred got fired,
And Mr Freeze died inside a fire
The Joker survived working 9 to 5
Providing the food for Cat Woman my wife
(She was mine)
Not any more, I know a little secret
Batman has no class
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6. |
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public toilets I try to avoid them
sit on the seat I don’t wanna see
the traces of the guy who came before me
and I like the taps you don’t have to touch
put your hands under and out comes the water
automatic, I’m ecstatic, soap dispenser hand dryer
hands free getting up in the 21st century these facilities
camera phone under the stall old man voyeurs gonna be watching it all
privacy is secondary don’t even have doors if you're Chinese
this is DT Rapper spilling some beats on the crapper
lyrical genius straight from the bladder
invite yourself in if you’re that much of a slapper
don’t mind the smell it’s all about the taste
one man’s dinner is another man’s waste
go into the ladies get a slap in the face
I was just asking for directions not a spraying of mace
it’s the shopping mall it’s the petrol station
and I’m sitting here wondering where’s the sanitation?
surely someone has the paid occupation
occupied full time with cleaning these locations
and I like doors that you don’t have to touch
cause the stain in the corner it isn’t water
automatic, so tragic,
that civilisation can be so barbaric
standing in line and it’s looking pretty long
and I’m starting to doubt just how long I can hold on
I’m not being fussy I’m just hygienic
gonna wipe the seat with a half a box of Kleenex
and by the state of this place you'd think the plumber
probably spent more time playing Mario brothers
i hate the places where you have to pay
cause this joint isn’t any better anyway
public toilets I try to avoid them
public toiletsIi try to avoid them
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7. |
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8. |
Poke'Blues
03:41
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1999 in the school yard
Lunch time spent trading Pokémon cards
Couldn’t afford a game boy I had No$gmb
Got it on an emulator
From the rom is how I played it
Charmander was the one that I chose
I remember running errands for professor oak
I'm a game freak and Imma gonna be
Waiting at the top of the Pokémon league.
As I’m writing this rhyme yea its taking me back
to the days when I had memorised the Pokémon rap
Elecrtrode, Diglett, Nidoran, Mankey,
Venusaur, Rattata, Fearow, Pidgey
It doesn’t really that your life is average
When you’re a Pokémon master nothing else matters
Spending your nights collecting gym badges
Leveling up to do maximum damage
Teacher confiscated all my Pokémon toys
Broke into her office to get back my Blastoise
But what am I gonna do when there's no one left to choose
Sit at home alone on my Nintendo with the Pokémon blues.
1999 and I turn on my TV
After school yea it just got real
From 4-4.30 Ash, Brock and Misty
I am too busy for homework or chores
After or before
Cause I’m training my Caterpie evolve it to Butterfree
I traded it for a Raticate.
But I’d take it right back like a quick attack
If I had the chance to relive the past.
For a while I was at the top
Filled my Pokedex yea I caught them all
Becoming the best that there ever was
Crawling through tall grass throwing Pokeballs
Cause Pokémon was my reason for breathing
From pallet town to Fuschia city
Attending poke parties on the s.s anne
Battled every trainer who made eye contact
Had a Pokémon lunchbox and a Pokémon cap
Got my Pokeballs kept in my Pokémon pack.
But what am I gonna do when there's no one left to choose
Sit at home alone on my Nintendo with the Pokémon blues.
And yeah the TV it shattered my dreams
When ash lost the Pokémon league
With tears in my eyes I was too young to realise
it was just the networks way of milking the franchise
had 151 mew and Mewtwo
And now they tell me there's a few hundred new
Pokémon, come on, I thought I caught ‘em all
but there’ll always be more on the next console
Cause you should know you won’t achieve your dreams
there’s always something more from where you wanted to be
Standing alone on the indigo plateau
but we’ll never reach the end of victory road
You won’t be able to revive me when I depart
Flail on the ground like a Magikharp
And in my desolation I'll sleep forever
Till I wake up dead in a Pokémon centre
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9. |
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(Hi, my name is Pacman and I’m an addict)
Every pill I pop only worsens my condition,
And though I won’t stop, at least I’m in admission
From the 80’s in the maze we are chasing the pallets
Every quarter you drop me's only fuelling the habit
Ms Pacman, yeah she used to be Mrs
She’s a junkie too but God do I miss her
Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever see her
But I've gotta monkey on my back and Donkey Kong is my dealer
Yea I’m Pacman (gotta get the highscore)
Pacman (so hard core)
Yea I’m Pacman (criminally convicted)
Pacman (yea he’s addicted)
(Yeah I put the P in Pacman)
Kids at the arcade playing shoot’em ups
My machines not out of service I’m just shooting up
Tripping on acid my whole world is wrapping
Around the screen off the edge and I'm back again
My bro Mario is on the shrooms
Sonics on speed yea it has to be true
Yo look at my crew rolling through
The maze turning them ghosts scared and blue
Yea I’m Pacman (gotta get the highscore)
Pacman (so hard core)
Yea I’m Pacman (criminally convicted)
Pacman (yea he’s addicted)
May not survive but if I die
This Pac will be back with two more lives
Cause Pacmans back and he’s busting a rap
Pacman, Pac attack
My world consists of only two dimensions,
The first is the pill and the seconds the next one
I know one day it'll be game over
But i just can’t stand myself when I’m sober
Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Cldye
From ghosts of my past I cannot hide
They wanna take to me rehab but I won't submit
All a gotta do's pop a power pallet
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10. |
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Yo my name’s JB
Cause is my initials
Spilln raps to the nation like heat seeking missiles
I make a lot of music but I don’t try to sell it
Cause it’s more about the passion than it is about the profit
Or maybe it is more the fact that nobody would buy it
Either way I don’t care just go ahead and pirate
The music I make is tasteless (shameless)
My lyrical structure is aimless
JB, DT Rapper, Htown Gangstas coming at ya
Flopping out some DT Rapper DT
Yeah I know you’re happy to see me
Is that a bulge in your pants or the consequence of KFC
Or is it just because you’re in the presence of a king
My rhymes are so fresh I make a mute sing
My spills are the best the next level thing
The hateration in the air I just cut with a swing
Knock your ass to the floor then you propose with a ring.
People part like the sea when they see me coming
My flow’s just getting started when they think that I’m done and
The language of my lyrics is bold and in italics
It’s a murder in your eardrum
Sends the masses in to panic
It’s a matter of fact if you have a heart attack
It’s a direct cause from my indirect impact
Lyrical acrobatics
Turn brain waves into static
Forever poetic
Eternally climatic
JB, DT Rapper, Htown Gangstas coming at ya
Hamilton hip hop at its finest sound so fly it causes blindness.
The only mode I know is go
Like Charlie Sheen with better flow
So fucking cocky took that shit to the docy
He said to me I just don’t know
I’ve never met someone liek you
Who could pull a ho kill a man with a microphone
I said well thanks doc X and O
Send my love to your wife
I’ll see her in bed tomorrow
Download my songs and don’t forget
The tracks I make don’t pay my rent
Cause the effort I give’s bout 20 percent
Most of that goes toward my fake accent
The saddest part is I’m the best New Zealand rapper
Scribe and Young Sid are a joke in comparison
And if you’re standing there promoting your hating
Go a make something better than this beat that I’m making
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11. |
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going down town to the super market
get out of my car just after I park it
across the lot and through the doors
hands on the trolley as I enter the store.
the fresh produce yeah its good for your health
get an onion a carrot and a lettuce as well
don’t let us forget to double check
the shopping list for what we need next
it’s a whole new world when we reach the meat
cause there’s bacon and beef but if we meet
stay outta my way when I’m pushing my trolley
and if I crash into yours don’t expect an apology
take a new direction to the dairy section
yogurt, cheese and milk for my breakfast
check this what aisle is next, which
items are we missing the chips and the biscuits
going on down to the supermarket
bring your friends just grab a basket
if you can’t find something you just need to ask them
going on down to the supermarket
find them, buy them, if they’re underneath a sign then
they're on special, discounted probably expired
fluorescent lights making me tired
is it day is it night can’t tell when your inside here
if I break a product I'll pretend it wasn’t me
yeah they're gonna need a clean up on isle 3.
watch your step the floors slippery when its wet
pak and slave to a minimum wage yeah
when I get to pick I pick pick and mix
cause its more legit than the pre-packaged
sugar free trash that they try to pass off as being natural (it’s not natural)
in the alcohol section bottles line the walls
don't know which wine to buy when they've all got awards
and according, to my shopping list
we’ve got everything that we came to get
when you get a receipt don’t throw it out
cause I be keeping them receipts for a fuel discount
countdown all the items less than 12 required
to take the express lane avoid all the lines and
self service is the worst when
it doesn’t work yeah I try to scan them
standing at the checkout, I’m only there to check out
the checkout operator as she operates the checkout
cash out I’m the biggest fresh
don’t even get IDed when I buy cigarettes
the undisputed king of the supermarket
shit bro lets gap it, I forgot my wallet.
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12. |
Vampires Will Hurt You
02:28
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Streaming and Download help
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